If I did, I would go insane or kill myself.
Even trying not to dwell on how horrifying my life is, I think about killing myself every day, usually for several hours every day.
I live in constant dread.
I don't understand how so many people can be so cruel for so many years. I don't know what the conglomerate wants from me. It seems as if what it wants is to torture me for the rest of my life.