This is the debut of my career as a bipartisan sloganist:
"You Have Gone Absolutely Nowhere."
Isn't that brilliant?
Not for nothing did I have these standardized test scores in 1991:
Without studying or tutoring for the tests:
-1370 SATs
-790 Verbal ACT
-710 French ACT
-(I think I had something in the 600s for the Math ACT. I don't know whether or not skipping a grade in elementary school negatively influenced my verbal development; it didn't seem to do much for my math development, although when I later stopped fearing math, my grades for it started to be where my verbal grades were.)
I did study for these, since I had never taken tests like them before:
-5 Advanced Placement Biology
-5 Advanced Placement English
-5 Advanced Placement French Literature
-5 Advanced Placement French Language
Fortunately, when I sought counseling and then hospitalization in 1992, a year after graduating from high school, I was relieved off all of the high expectations that society had never wanted to have of me anyway, blonde female that I am, and here we are today.
You have no idea how inspirational it is to have the permanent, medical stamp of approval for the world's belief that people with your label never amount to anything.
Perhaps the most fortunate part of my destiny is that, for some unknown reason, having the label of a psychiatric history has never deterred anyone fron sexually abusing me. No, quite the contrary. Now, as the age of 50 looms, it seems to be established that the funniest thing in the world is a camera in my shower, a camera in the restroom stall, a camera in the locker room. It's funnier every year, particularly with every single person who's yapping about the women's movement and who also knows that I'm telling the truth about the cameras doing nothing to stop the voyeurism and even blaming me for it.
