PT: Thanks for letting A$AP Rocky out of jail because of the pressure that I put on you (fact). I wouldn't have wanted to look as if I couldn't bypass your criminal justice system at the whim of celebrities such as my good friends Kanye West and his wife, Kim Kardashian (fact). He's a charming guy; have you read his Twitter (satire)?
PM: "(Polite resentment)" (conjecture).
PT: Justin Bieber really wanted A$SP Rocky out of jail, too (fact). Did you know that Mr. Bieber is married to Hailey Baldwin, Alec Baldwin's niece (fact)?
PM: "(Silence)" (conjecture).
PT: Yes, they were married at a courthouse in 2018, ironically, since Mr. Bieber skipped a court date while making out with her (fact). Now they're having an evangelical wedding to show their commitment to each other and to the Almighty (fact/satire). Isn't it a small world (satire)? Mr. Bieber slept with Kim Kardashian's sister, Kourtney, and with their sister, Kendall Jenner (fact). I heard that both of them might be bridesmaids at the wedding, (satire), and that Calvin Klein might design the bridesmaids' dresses in a fetching shade of "I Slept With the Groom" (satire).
PM: "(Silence)" (conjecture)
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Transcript of Conversation Between Alec Baldwin and Alec Baldwin:
Alec Baldwin: Should I tell someone in Congress about the hidden, illegal cameras that have criminally victimized more people every year in the Boston area since 2011?
Alec Baldwin:. After the Democrats win the White House, and the entertainment industry is restored to the political power that it had during the Obama administration, I might think about telling someone.
(I don't know how to characterize that transcript. I don't know what else the rationale of Mr. Baldwin, everyone at Saturday Night Live, and everyone else who knows I'm telling the truth is for doing nothing to stop these crimes for all of these years.)
