Transparency

I film videos at my phone in which I talk at the people who hack my phone.

Every day, I tell them that I don't want my privacy to be invaded.  I ask, again, that they tell authorities about the voyeurism that is criminally victimizing me and thousands of other people in Massachusetts.

As soon as I realized, in 2010 or 2011, that my phone, my email, my bank account and every computer that I used was being hacked, I knew that I would never be able to stop the hacking.  I knew that I would never have another private conversation through electronic means again, for the rest of my life.  That was, and is, painful.

I have done what I can with it, to take back some power over my life, a life in which all of my power has been taken from me and is maliciously withheld from me for the amusement of the invaders.  This lack of control over my life makes me degraded and helpless, despite the occasional influence that I have through verbal argument and suggestion about other things.  That influence seems to be part of what makes people who know that I'm telling the truth about voyeurism and involuntary pornography scoff when I say that I have not been able to make anyone whom I have talked to in Boston about those issues believe that these crimes are being perpetrated.  The people who know that I am telling the truth and who are refusing to corroborate it have either mistaken my occasional influence for the type of power that authorities have or are so malicious that they enjoy my helplessness and degradation and the helplessness and degradation of all the other victims too much to put a stop to it.

I think that most people, if they had to choose between one or the other, would rather be subjected to hacking than voyeurism.  There is no negotiating with voyeurism.  It is a pitiless form of invasion which permanently dehumanizes the victim and desensitizes the perpetrators.  Even if the voyeurism to which I'm being subjected now were stopped today, I will be violated 24 hours a day for the rest of my life by an ever-expanding audience for all of the video that's already been illegally filmed of me for years.

Maybe it's always been a mistake for me to try to humanize my abusers.  I don't think that they think of themselves as being abusive.  I think they tend to think of me either as deserving how I am treated or liking it.  In a feat of denial that could only be accomplished by a group of people all abusing someone together, many of them spend a lot of their time accusing me of being the abuser while they sulk, rage or plot revenge about being my victims.

While always being unwilling to take the next step toward official communication, such as texting, emailing, talking on the phone or meeting in person, I have sometimes, for some people, tried to be friendly.  I have offered mostly unsolicited advice.  Even without the voyeurism and my Google search results, the hacking is a terrible impediment to my feeling free to try to develop a normal social life with people whom I have met or could meet in the Boston area.  It is very lonely, and there have been times when I have flirted with some of my abusers.  I do not take nude pictures.  I do not take pictures of myself in a bra and underwear.  The most I have ever done along those lines is to take a picture of myself in a bathing suit in a dressing room a few years ago.  That wasn't flirting; people have the right to take their own pictures in dressing rooms, and many people do.  I'm glad that I did; I'm not getting younger, as the conglomerate's relentless bullying about my slowly burgeoning, middle-aged paunch attests.


These virutal connections are always fraught with anxiety and misunderstanding, and the conglomerate makes much of them both to demonize me and to excuse itself for continuing to victimize me.  The men with whom I have had these connections invariably take no responsibility for anything, although they are uniformly adamant, for years, about giving me full responsibility for whatever they end up feeling.  I have never asked them for anything, other than not to sexually harass me, not to promote crime, not to exploit me any more than they already have, and, in the case of my last apartment, to please tell someone who could have stopped that instance of retaliation that I was telling the truth.  For 5 months, I asked for that help, which would have cost nothing to anyone who gave it.  I provided the names and contact information of police officers, Legal Aid and other community, nonprofit lawyers, the lawyers for the property management, other nonprofit advocates.  Nobody would make that phone call, send that email, fax or mail the letter that could have saved my tenancy and that also could have, in proving my truthfulness, prevented my continuing to be victimized during two more years of homelessness, with everyone else at the homeless shelter and the gym also being criminally victimized.

The conglomerate is so malicious toward me, has perpetrated so many rumors about me, has attacked or otherwise exposed everyone whom I ever knew, even people whom I haven't talked to for 20 or 30 years, and is so vicious about everyone with whom I have to communicate through email or on the phone to be able to do anything such as be housed or have a job, that to say that I am fearful of what the conglomerate would do to me and to anyone whom I tried to be friends with or to date is an understatement.

It is true that there are corporations that are taking illegal video filmed of me in my apartment and turning references from it into ads.  Many corporations have already done that with their advertising for years, particularly with things that they take from hacking my phone and my email.

I am trapped.

I am now used to, and expect, that every male abuser who has claimed an undying love for me during this near-decade of persecution does not and never did think of me as a person.  That was made clear to me when I had to move out of the apartment that I had from 2016 to 2017, which was the second apartment in Massachusetts where I was criminally victimized by voyeurism and then called delusional and a nuisance by lawyers for the property management in retaliation for my having objected to the voyeurism.  I know it is hard to believe, but this victimization does follow me from one town to the next, from one building to another.  Sometimes the property management has known about the crime and lied to its own lawyers; sometimes the property management has been lied to by the maintenance workers who installed the hidden cameras and who probably livestream video of me to tbeir cellphones and the Internet.  Whoever has heard of me and this situation already knows that everyone who has done this to me has gotten away with it and that I am always successfully retaliated against for reporting it.