Maybe everything that I have already said about them is right, but I also can't help feeling like a miserable, old hag when I say it.
I'm not jealous per se. I do not want to date or marry Justin Bieber or even meet him. I really don't. He's old enough to know better than how he has treated me.
If I can separate issues when I am talking about other people besides this couple, then to be consistent, honest, and fair, I should try to separate issues when I talk about them.
I can't know how a couple their age feels. I was never half of a couple when I was their age, or in my 30s, or for the first 5 years of my 40s. My life was mostly awful for all of those decades, and that couple has contributed to what is awful about it now, today, every day.
If they really are in love, and happy for that reason, then they have that, which I didn't and don't, and they have it while they hurt me and everyone else who's being criminally victimized by voyeurism and involuntary pornography.
The way that the conglomerate has treated me is also going to be a horrible burden on any relationship that I might try to have for the rest of my life. If Justin and Hailey Bieber are in love, then not only do they have what I didn't at their age and up to now, their treatment of me, for their own amusement, has prevented me from even trying to meet people who are local to me.
What could I say to men? People are hacking my phone; if I send you even a text message, they'll hack your phone. People who hack my phone can hear my conversations with everyone around me whom I talk to in person, unless I take the battery out of the phone. If you're around me, you should also take the battery out of your phone. There are hours, years of video of me in bathrooms; not consensual, scripted video, just what people do in the bathroom when nobody is supposed to be filming them. Those videos have circulated for years, even though I have never seen them, and powerful people and organizations all around the world think it's funny to torture me about them. I have yet to have an apartment in Massachusetts where I wasn't also criminally victimized by voyeurism; I turned the lights off when I had to change my clothes, shower or use the toilet. I never invited people there because everything they said or did would be recorded and gossiped about by everyone who tortures me.
I don't think those things are what most people want when they want a girlfriend or a wife. If I tell someone that, he'll think I'm crazy. If I don't tell him, then I will expose him to the conglomerate without his knowledge or consent.
If you'll pardon my saying so, the conglomerate is gleefully dooming me to masturbation for the rest of my fucking life. That is what the conglomerate is like; it is heedless and selfish and vicious.
Also, what is the industry, and what are the life decisions, that turn this:
into this?
I don't regret quitting ballet after 5 years when I was little; I didn't have the money or the time for it, and 40 years ago, the dangers of anorexia and other eating disorders were unknown to the public. I also think that school sports were better for me than ballet would have been. Ballet stories for women tend to be Prince-Charming-oriented, do not emphasize teamwork among women in the way that sports do, and did not, when I was younger, encourage women to have bodies that are visibly strong. It is an art form that has a very narrow scope for women for everything from age to skin color to body type to height, and its need to evolve has been discussed by people far more knowledgeable than I am for a long time. I am healthier than I would have been.
I am not suggesting a specific career or activity for Mrs. Bieber. I just don't know if she has thought about how she used to have her own artistry, and is obviously talented and capable of hard work, and now she's just his wife and has her picture taken all the time.
