Do I have potential assassins following me around all the time?

I don't think about that question a lot.  For some reason, I have thought about it frequently over the past few weeks.

Am I overthinking my importance?  I don't know.

Sometimes, there seems to be a direct and even immediate correlation between something that I write or say, even if I don't publish it, and a decision that is made by one or several world leaders or other powerful people.  Since that's the case, and since I advocate for things such as Mr. Assad's resignation, and since he's proven that he is unhesitant to kill people, it has occurred to me that perhaps he has people following me around who would kill me in response to a text message or other signal from his regime, telling them to kill me.

If so, then there are probably other people who do the same thing all day, working for people or organizations whom I have criticized.

I hope they don't kill me while I'm doing something embarrassing.  I haven't talked about it for a while, but my gum recession is a source of anxiety for me, as I think about how I might start trying to date people in the real world.

Not only is my gum recession unattractive by itself, it has turned my mouth into a colander for food particles.  Said particles lodge snugly between almost all of my teeth, except for among the teeth in the bottom front of my mouth that don't even have other teeth around them because they have drifted so far apart.  

Thinking about this a few days ago, I realized that all of my first dates will have to be coffee dates, and that I probably shouldn't even have solid food in front of someone before he starts calling me his girlfriend.  Even when I start to have solid food, it should be the color of my teeth; I should probably start a list of off-white foods and restaurants that have them. 

Am I digressing?  I hope that I'm not assassinated when I haven't flossed.  That's what I'm trying to say.