I didn't ask to be abused.

What I have tried to do is not to behave in dehumanizing ways toward people who are consistently dehumanizing toward me, and who have no concern for everyone else who is being criminally violated.

Vermont is a quiet place.  I knew nothing about the corruption of the entertainment industry, knew nothing about its systemic misogyny.  It took a while for the glamour to dissipate, even in the midst of my horror.

That was in addition to my having had a lifetime of everything that I tried to do not working out for me, and mostly being treated as if I were stupid after I was in the hospital, which is how people who have psychiatric histories tend to be treated. 

Voyeurism is a less immediate and more gradual form of sexual abuse than being raped in person, although it can and does lead to people being raped in person, especially when people are subjected to involuntary pornography online that exposes them to the world and to more viewers every day for the rest of their lives.  It is the crime that never ends, that only worsens over time, that is never in the past.

After many years of trying every argument there is to persuade the people who are promoting these crimes to stop, I finally have had to conclude that they don't care.